Ah! Sunday nights are the worst, just the thought that if you go to sleep the sooner you have to go back to work and at the same time you know if you don't go to sleep you'll be grouchy and tired all day at work... I hate decisions... they're hard.
Recently, I have been hanging out with my cousin, which is cool because her attitude is so much better since she got clean and sober. It's so nice to be able to hang out with a real person rather than being depressed and alone listening to my brother and his friends and his bimbos, and Demi is cool too... We played Mario Party, I love video games, except it's kind of annoying to play with people who never play, it makes it too easy and then I feel bad for winning cause I usually, not always but usually, clean up on that game. Not that it's hard but most girls I know don't play video games that often anyway so they really suck... dilema.
I need to get MSN messenger. I miss my buddies, I feel like I haven't talked to online buddies in forever, stinks cause life is busy and so random. I'm having such a problem even remembering to go to the post office to mail bills, really bad I know but it stinks cause I get home and me being a total spaz sits on my couch and pops in a movie or ya know, animal planet (yes I said it, that channel rocks!) and then forget all the stuff I have to do until it's way to late to do it. Dang, maybe I should leave myself a note.
Oh gotta go, Pippin puppy problems.

Do you ever have that lonely feeling, like everything you thought you knew was a lie. Like when you think you know a person and then you learn something that changes your whole outlook on them as a whole. I do this a lot, it makes me more nervous to trust people, and then in turn look back and wonder if anyone has ever thought this about me.
I believe people see me as this sweet innocent naive person, which in parts is probably true. But I open up to very few people, and I know that I know a lot more than I get credit for. I am a spoiled rotten, selfish bitch. Sometimes I wonder why the few friends I have are even friends with me, I wouldn't be friends with me. How depressing and yet I have no desire to change it. I have come to some point of figuring out what kind of person I am and not caring what anyone really thinks. To a point a moment of something I say or do will pop a thought into my head of "what if they think (fill in the blank)" and the next moment "oh well, who cares"
My life is lonely, but I don't say it as a complaint. I like it the way it is, I cry and no one knows, and maybe it's better that way. It's almost this feeling lately of constant danger. Not like in a thrill danger but like my safe zone has disappeared. Random people, who don't have any respect for themselves or me are in my house all the time. I dread weekends for the fact of drunk people and bimbos who for some reason feel they need male attention to make their lives complete once a week, even if it's never genuine. I don't understand the point of being drunk and not remembering the entire weekend and claming to have fun, how do they know it was fun if they can't remember.
I'm reading to much into it, maybe it just annoys me that they all have this immortal sense of being that I can't grasp. Death is so real, like maybe next second, I won't be able to breathe and that doesn't cross their minds. Have fun they say, were young... but not forever. But also living everyday being afraid to die isn't healthy... it's confusing. Six to one, half a dozen on the other I suppose...
Maybe I could be more positive, maybe not. Negativity is so common and easily come to. Positive energy take a little more effort, looking inbetween the lines...

Wierd how that works, I guess it being friday puts me in a good mood...
Plus, it's Elizabethtown friday, which makes it an Orlando Bloom friday and no wait, Kingdom of Heaven came out last Tuesday which makes it an Orlando Bloom week which in itself makes it an awesome week no matter what happens :) Plus!!! I finally got all my Peter Tork CD's, he's so cute I love him. He can't sing, or write songs very well but I love him anyways and I still listen to them, and make everyone who rides in my car listen to them and drive them nuts. Hee, the little joys of being the oddball, I love it!!!

We went to the mall today, to get Lauren's ears pierced for the 2nd time, it was quite an ordeal... but she finally did it and they look so cute. Kinda makes me want another piercing (something other than just my ears... ugh boring) ... or a tattoo... but I don't know what I would want for a tattoo, something I could live with forever and that's my dilema... and the piercing I'm just having a hard time deciding what I want pierced... plus I work in a bank so I kinda gotta be careful about that cause I don't want to get fired ya know... bummer...

Oh, well, I'm tired and my head hurts and I'm going to go to bed... and tomorrow I'm sleeping as long as possible cause I have to babysit, damn... okay bye!

I hate my life... yep, that's it. People suck, why can't they just be patient! Just a little patience would make the world such a better place ya know! I swear one of these days I'm just gunna go off on someone, all the anger and frustration I've built up is going to burst out and someone is going to get it!

Anyways, it's friday and I'm good, I hate that the weekend never lasts long enough and I hate how I always think that and it seems to end even sooner but I can't stop thinking it. How annoying...

Oooh, I hate the way that girls think that to be a model it means take pictures of yourself is as little clothing as possible... what!

Ya know what... I think I'm too negative, and it's weird how it's easier to come up with things to complain about than to find things that make you happy. Unless you're in love and then it's like that person is your world, not that I would know what that's like but I have had friends who have been in "love" and it's really annoying, makes you want to smack them and tell them to get a life, and there I go again. Negativity... how sad... and again there it is.

Enrique from Without a Trace is really cute! I love him...

I found this pic

I think it's Micky Dolenz's daughter, maybe, on getty it said her name was Charlotte Dolenz, which is not a very common name so it's likely and that she's a british social worker, I just thought that was intresting and I thought I'd post it. I'll probably get in trouble cause it's a watermarked pic but maybe no one will notice little old me posting random posts about Micky Dolenz's kid...

Anyways, I'm done at the moment since I can't come up with anything better to write about I guess I'll end the madness. Ok bye~

... my life is so boring. I never do anything, it's depressing... I don't know what to do anymore. Why is it that in order to be social it means you have to do stuff you don't want to. I hate parks, I hate to play sports and stupid games. Why can't I find someone to just play a video game or go to the movies... I love movies. Or even the mall, just to window shop even, since I never have any money. I hate big groups, I need one or two peoples to hang with...
Oh! I hate Anthony!!! He is so annoying, he's this guy I work with at the bank. I swear somedays I just want to strangle him. First of all, he's gay. And before anyone says anything, I have nothing against him for that... I will say that I don't believe in all that, but that's not the reason I don't like him. It just kind of describes the way he is in a way... anyways, I'm sure my bi-polar/ADD problems don't help much, cause I think I might just annoy him but I really don't care. I've only been there 2 and a half weeks and he needs to be a little more patient. I just don't like him... Grrrr.
Almost time for Elizabethtown!!! I actually do not know when it comes out, that's a new one... but I did see a preview for it on Sunday, it looks so cute! I can't wait to see it. I don't know who I'll go with yet, I need to find someone. Going alone is boring, no one to talk about it afterwards. I can't wait!!!
Okay, my mind is now blank, I suppose I shall write more tomorrow perhaps... okay. Click and sign up, anyone who reads this K!!!

Oh my goodness! Why the heck all of a sudden does everyone want to get married! This sucks... only because it puts more pressure on me. Always a bridemaid... but I'm fine with that, in fact I prefer it. Men suck, why would I want to put up with having to take care of someone else. Another factor is that when people get married their lives change. You lose the girlfriend to go out with. Ugh, it's all a bunch of nonsense if you ask me. Besides, the mindset of people nowadays is that it's not going to last long anyways so why even bother. For love I suppose, whatever that is...

That's my vent...

Oooh, I got a kitty!!! She's so cute, I've had her a week now. She's a calico, 1yr old and her name is Cricket. I love her, she's the sweetest cat I've ever had. She adapted so well, I have never had any new animal who just fit in as fast as she did. It was awesome, less work for me *wink*

Ok, I'm done... visit Neopets and sign up though, and if you don't want to use it, create a new email (their free at yahoo or hotmail) and sign up. It'll help me out a lot, it's a lot of fun and it's free so go there!!!

Finally, the two people in the bottom are the people who deserve to be there! Scott is finally gone!!! Thank you, Thank you, Thank you. The circle is now complete...

OH MY GOODNESS!!! Never watching American Idol again. There is something so wrong with the country!!! Okay, so I honestly didn't think Constantine would win but to be beat out by Anthony and Scott come on America!!! What the hell!!! Grrrr. They lost one fan. I don't even care who wins. This just sucks...

*random thought*I like that word, icky. I wonder who made that up... hmm.*end random thought*
Ooooo! I'm so tired, I can't sleep well for somereason and it's driving me crazy! Plus I work 40 hours this week because of revisions! Yea Hallmark... Love my job, hate revisions...
Anyways, I'm having really bad stomach problems lately. I can't eat a lot or I get sick. My friend Kim says I might have an ulser *yikes!* But I think it's just the way I eat. My mom says I should try eating lots less sugar and processed foods. So far it seems to be working but I'm having a hard time with it since I have a sweet tooth and hate to cook so processed foods were always just the easy way but oh well.
My computers being a buggerd! *kicks puter* So I better get off before it freezes or something. Laterz